La Vie En Rose

It always amuses me to no end to see an American girls' intepretation of "French style". I suppose they've watched "Paris, Je t'aime" one too many times, but in any case, it's usually wrong. I know I am not necessarily in a comfortable place to judge, being that I've never been to France, however, the fact that most of my highschool friends were French allowed me to glean some essential knowledge I hope to share with you.

And so I give you, How Not to Dress French

Some of these should be fairly obvious, but you should avoid:

The beige trench. I have yet to see a european woman in this, worn wrong, it can make you look like "Columbo" the detective (google it). And honestly, I think it's boring as hell. There is nothing particularly "un-French" about a trench however, but if you wear one, make sure you have it tailored so that's it's not frumpy or awkward, and opt for one in black with a unique cut, fabric or texture.


The Breton Sweater:
Established by French sailors to keep them warm on the high seas during the late 19th century, it gradually trickled down into common French society and in women's clothing, and of course, the American girls had to have it. If you do wear it, wear it in an "American fashion", with gray stripes as opposed to navy, and paired with cut-offs or a leather mini and sneakers.

The Jauntily Tied Scarf:


In this unfortunate advent of the cotton "summer" scarf used to jazz up an outfit, I think we've forgotten that scarves serve an actual purpose, that being to keep our necks warm. In short, I really think you should only be wearing this when it's actually cold outside.

The Beret:

Berets are seeing quite a heydey, and I for one could not be more pleased, as I own half a dozen. Nothing adds an air of "I actually put thought into this" in under five seconds to a lazy outfit like a hat, and the easiest one to wear is a beret. I say, simply avoid looking like a francophile by wearing a wool tam variety (like the one above) loped over your brow, opting for the back of the head instead. And avoid the tired hipster look by not pairing it with a plaid shirt and skinnies.

Something to remember
You are not French. You are American. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with emulating international style, but keep in mind your region of origin. If you live in the dusty southwest, a trenchcoat is not going to be practical for your every day life. In the rainsoaked pacific? Stilettos are not your jive. And so on and so forth. Keep your own quirks and body type in mind, instead of wistfully wishing you lived in the street of Montmartre or had the body of some willowy girl in Malmo. Denying who you are and where you live will never look fashionable.

Step Right Up

Chictopia.com and Topshop are pairing up for a fashion contest---in a nutshell, they're looking for fashionable girls to register with Chictopia and upload photos of themselves in their best outfit with, or riding, their bike as a promotion of a healthy and green lifestyle! I won't be entering myself (cripples and bicycles do not mix, sadly), but I know many of you are avid riders and very well dressed. Click here for details on the restrictions and prizes. The deadline is the 17th, so get cracking!

I can't get no satisfaction

Current temperature in my hometown: 64 degrees
Current temperature where I live: the sixth ring of Hell.

Stuff like this McQ jacket mocks me from afar. Not simply because it's almost nine hundred dollars and I would have to sell blood plasma to afford it, but because nothing, short of the reversal of global warming, could allow me to wear it before Christmas.

What with all the "back to school" shopping coming into play, I have visions of stuff like this, dancing in my head (not unlike sugarplums).



but will instead spend the next three months wearing this:

*le sigh*

Current Fixations

I have been obsessed with the idea of dark wash boyfriend jeans worn with leather suspenders and a risque top (such as a crop top, or a really skimpy vintage camisole). As soon as I gain some means of income (whenever that happens) my first paycheck is going towards some version of these....Okay, it's probably going towards a new camshaft for my engine, but play along, it makes me feel better.


I have also been eating an obscene amount of grilled cheese sandwiches. Pumpernickel and swiss is my favourite. My desire to eat grilled cheese runs in direct contradiction with my desire to wear a crop top.


These shoes haunt my dreams. I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about them. And that is where they will stay, because: A. They cost over a fucking grand. B. I would immediately fall, break something, and have to sell said shoes to pay for my hospital bills.


I may appear to be another mild-mannered hipster, and for the most part this is an accurate description (I read Simone de Beauvoir while listening to Blitzen Trapper, for Christ's sake), but I am in fact a closet metalhead. If you haven't heard Atlanta-natives (and all around badasses) Mastodon, you should. So epic.

Kickin It

Between the whirlwind that is my social life, finals (I got all A's this semester! Celebratory pilgrimage to Atlanta anyone?) and fruitlessly searching for employment for my broke ass, I COMPLETELY FORGOT to mention an article written about zhee blog for lemondrop.com. Oops to the power of ten.

click and be enlightened

A tremendous thanks to Julie, who was very patient with my flaky, non-email-answering self.

Real postage forthcoming.

The Spark

Seeking out gainful employment (and failing miserably) has been cutting into my free time lately. But I thought I would "reward" you darling readers for your patience with a post that took, y'know--effort.

The other day I was listening to Bob Dylan and thinking about how Bob loves him a song named after a chick (of course, that can be said about many a male musician, but I digress). And I was listening to "Rita May" specifically and begun to ponder, "How would a girl that Bob Dylan sings about, dress?"

Visions of Johanna

One of my personal favourites, it actually refers to one named Louise more than Johanna, but semantics. Louise, God bless her soul, is our protagonist's sloppy seconds: "Louise, she's all right, she's just near
She's delicate and seems like the mirror
But she just makes it all too concise and too clear
That Johanna's not here"

and Johanna is his great Madonna. Granted, it is the habit of men to either overidealize women or make them out as crazy bitches, but let's not get into that. Putting Johanna realistically, I imagine her as one of those willowy, fragile looking sorts with a slight frame who wears billowy chiffon kinds of things:





Louise, for her part, is sturdier, more "normal". Cotton, practical, but with a twist, something subtle that a man could never appreciate.







I'm thinking of making this a "series" and (eventually) covering all of Bob's named lady loves. What say you?

I tried to do handstands for you....

Currently, in the dirty south, we are being blown apart by tornadoes and flooded by buckets of rain. But before this point, we were beginning to go to that hot, uncomfortable place where the deep south lives for a solid five to seven months out of the year. Anyone who has ever lived south of Kentucky and east of Albuquerque knows what I am referring to here. Every time you walk outside your door, it feels as if you are being smothered by a hot, wet, wool blanket. You sweat, or "glisten" as my mother prefers, but it brings no relief, as the air around you is wetter than you are and it can't evaporate. So instead, you are rendered a sticky, delusional human, wandering around the park, mumbling about how you would sell your immortal soul for a bus ticket to California. Oh, that's just me?

Anyhow, this weather tends to render people (i.e. me) very lazy in their wardrobe, by June I'm usually in ripped jeans and a tank top pretty much every single day. This year, I seek refuge in fashion, specifically, the frilly dress. It is tailor made for sweaty Southern laziness: it's one peice of clothing, so you don't have to bother with pesky layers, and it has plenty of much needed ventilation.

Urban Outfitters is always a (slightly overpriced) mecca for this sort of thing:

$68

I'm hourglass and look very poor in all this empire waisted nonsense, so this trend towards old style tea dresses is my friend.
$58


$88


$48

At delia's there are less options, but respectable ones:
$44.50


$39.50

For cheapness, look no further than Forever21...


$24.80

That being said, if you are, as I am, dead flat broke, I cannot reccomend strongly enough that you simply go thrifting. Not to boost your indie cred, but simply because when most of us were in kindergarten, frilly, floral dresses were all the rage. And if you're clever, and don't shop in a purposefully "hip" place, you can still score a good, unsweaty dress (such as the one above) for less than a Bigmac combo meal.