Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Four Kicks

I bring before you a serious issue.

What is with the romantic rift between the fashion world and the bootcut jean? It's not as if they don't exist any more, when you walk back in to school next week, I would bet that roughly half the female population would be dressed in them (the other half, of course, in skinnies). But if you've also picked up a fashion magazine in the past few years, you might think they've become extinct, because they're not at all acknowledged in editorials or even advertisements? There is often a fairly wide rift between what's going on in fashion and what the average girl wears, but why does fashion have to snub the bootcut jean so roundly?

I guarantee you that if [insert wildly popular blogger here] were to post a much-lauded outfit polished off with your standard, Target-bought pair of bootcut or "flares", the same outfit would be dismissed as pedestrian rather than praised. Up until about a year ago, the only "fashion" choice for pants was the ubiquitous skinny jean---

It's not as if I have a problem with skinny jeans. I think they look fantastic....on other people. But for me personally, I think they make my petite frame look even shorter, my curves look like one too many sandwiches. And aside from that, they tend to be slightly binding and uncomfortable. And I see many a girl who's body type would be so much better served by something with a non-tapered leg persist in wearing them because they're de rigeur.

Then, sometime around last year (depending on who you ask of course), came the advent of the boyfriend jean. While it is infinitely more flattering than the skinny jean, it also requires its own form of work. Because of the loose, hip-slung fit of the boyfriend, you can't pair it with just anything. The wrong blouse and you'll look rectangular, and all but the tallest of girls look slovenly in boyfriend jeans without pairing them with heels. While I own a pair of boyfriend jeans, and love them for their slacked comfort, I feel somewhat awkward wearing them as I rarely wear anything with a heel.

So what is a bootcut wearing girl to do but place herself at odds with her beloved fashion (or permanently resign herself to skirts)? You'll notice that on the occasion I post my own outfits, I usually stick to dresses, and there is a reason for that. While I hope boyfriends, in their forgiving masculinity I'm such a sucker for, stick around for a while, I would like to declare a fashion moritorium on the skinny. They've had their time in the sun, it's time fashion and bootcut pants kiss and make up.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

La Vie En Rose

It always amuses me to no end to see an American girls' intepretation of "French style". I suppose they've watched "Paris, Je t'aime" one too many times, but in any case, it's usually wrong. I know I am not necessarily in a comfortable place to judge, being that I've never been to France, however, the fact that most of my highschool friends were French allowed me to glean some essential knowledge I hope to share with you.

And so I give you, How Not to Dress French

Some of these should be fairly obvious, but you should avoid:

The beige trench. I have yet to see a european woman in this, worn wrong, it can make you look like "Columbo" the detective (google it). And honestly, I think it's boring as hell. There is nothing particularly "un-French" about a trench however, but if you wear one, make sure you have it tailored so that's it's not frumpy or awkward, and opt for one in black with a unique cut, fabric or texture.

The Breton Sweater:
Established by French sailors to keep them warm on the high seas during the late 19th century, it gradually trickled down into common French society and in women's clothing, and of course, the American girls had to have it. If you do wear it, wear it in an "American fashion", with gray stripes as opposed to navy, and paired with cut-offs or a leather mini and sneakers.

The Jauntily Tied Scarf:

In this unfortunate advent of the cotton "summer" scarf used to jazz up an outfit, I think we've forgotten that scarves serve an actual purpose, that being to keep our necks warm. In short, I really think you should only be wearing this when it's actually cold outside.

The Beret:

Berets are seeing quite a heydey, and I for one could not be more pleased, as I own half a dozen. Nothing adds an air of "I actually put thought into this" in under five seconds to a lazy outfit like a hat, and the easiest one to wear is a beret. I say, simply avoid looking like a francophile by wearing a wool tam variety (like the one above) loped over your brow, opting for the back of the head instead. And avoid the tired hipster look by not pairing it with a plaid shirt and skinnies.

Something to remember
You are not French. You are American. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. There's nothing wrong with emulating international style, but keep in mind your region of origin. If you live in the dusty southwest, a trenchcoat is not going to be practical for your every day life. In the rainsoaked pacific? Stilettos are not your jive. And so on and so forth. Keep your own quirks and body type in mind, instead of wistfully wishing you lived in the street of Montmartre or had the body of some willowy girl in Malmo. Denying who you are and where you live will never look fashionable.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Step Right Up and Topshop are pairing up for a fashion contest---in a nutshell, they're looking for fashionable girls to register with Chictopia and upload photos of themselves in their best outfit with, or riding, their bike as a promotion of a healthy and green lifestyle! I won't be entering myself (cripples and bicycles do not mix, sadly), but I know many of you are avid riders and very well dressed. Click here for details on the restrictions and prizes. The deadline is the 17th, so get cracking!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I can't get no satisfaction

Current temperature in my hometown: 64 degrees
Current temperature where I live: the sixth ring of Hell.

Stuff like this McQ jacket mocks me from afar. Not simply because it's almost nine hundred dollars and I would have to sell blood plasma to afford it, but because nothing, short of the reversal of global warming, could allow me to wear it before Christmas.

What with all the "back to school" shopping coming into play, I have visions of stuff like this, dancing in my head (not unlike sugarplums).

but will instead spend the next three months wearing this:

*le sigh*

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Current Fixations

I have been obsessed with the idea of dark wash boyfriend jeans worn with leather suspenders and a risque top (such as a crop top, or a really skimpy vintage camisole). As soon as I gain some means of income (whenever that happens) my first paycheck is going towards some version of these....Okay, it's probably going towards a new camshaft for my engine, but play along, it makes me feel better.

I have also been eating an obscene amount of grilled cheese sandwiches. Pumpernickel and swiss is my favourite. My desire to eat grilled cheese runs in direct contradiction with my desire to wear a crop top.

These shoes haunt my dreams. I wake up in a cold sweat thinking about them. And that is where they will stay, because: A. They cost over a fucking grand. B. I would immediately fall, break something, and have to sell said shoes to pay for my hospital bills.

I may appear to be another mild-mannered hipster, and for the most part this is an accurate description (I read Simone de Beauvoir while listening to Blitzen Trapper, for Christ's sake), but I am in fact a closet metalhead. If you haven't heard Atlanta-natives (and all around badasses) Mastodon, you should. So epic.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Kickin It

Between the whirlwind that is my social life, finals (I got all A's this semester! Celebratory pilgrimage to Atlanta anyone?) and fruitlessly searching for employment for my broke ass, I COMPLETELY FORGOT to mention an article written about zhee blog for Oops to the power of ten.

click and be enlightened

A tremendous thanks to Julie, who was very patient with my flaky, non-email-answering self.

Real postage forthcoming.

Monday, May 18, 2009

The Spark

Seeking out gainful employment (and failing miserably) has been cutting into my free time lately. But I thought I would "reward" you darling readers for your patience with a post that took, y'know--effort.

The other day I was listening to Bob Dylan and thinking about how Bob loves him a song named after a chick (of course, that can be said about many a male musician, but I digress). And I was listening to "Rita May" specifically and begun to ponder, "How would a girl that Bob Dylan sings about, dress?"

Visions of Johanna

One of my personal favourites, it actually refers to one named Louise more than Johanna, but semantics. Louise, God bless her soul, is our protagonist's sloppy seconds: "Louise, she's all right, she's just near
She's delicate and seems like the mirror
But she just makes it all too concise and too clear
That Johanna's not here"

and Johanna is his great Madonna. Granted, it is the habit of men to either overidealize women or make them out as crazy bitches, but let's not get into that. Putting Johanna realistically, I imagine her as one of those willowy, fragile looking sorts with a slight frame who wears billowy chiffon kinds of things:

Louise, for her part, is sturdier, more "normal". Cotton, practical, but with a twist, something subtle that a man could never appreciate.

I'm thinking of making this a "series" and (eventually) covering all of Bob's named lady loves. What say you?